Friday, September 28, 2007
a little history... Suzanne's own words
Although I had had the front row view of the mighty Pacific and the solace of my feline family and sea-gull companions, it has been an arduous task of endurance keeping mind and body sound and safe, for, now on five years. Crippling pain from a serious accident in 1999, due to multiple fractures was enough. Then to lose my career which took a lifetime to build. My life as a choreographer, dance instructor, and massage therapist, was over; indefinitely.
Enduring this, and the peripheral loss of dignity in having to face homelessness from the inability to earn my financial independence, I retreated to my tiny cabin on wheels.
I was down on my luck. The telephone was strangely silent. There must have been something to be said of many former friends and associates who were no longer calling. It seemed, in some folks' judgement, that I was choosing to remain in this homeless situation. Adding shame to injury.
Then... What can be said of a society that turns a blind eye to such numbers of homeless individuals, many of whom are greatly disabled? The abject neglect of the Armed Forces veterans? How does the America I once loved so dearly allow the police to profile and criminalize the disadvantaged?
I had no results in obtaining low-cost housing, even after repeated and exhausting efforts, from government or other agencies. Rental accommodations in Los Angeles County have become increasingly prohibitive for those with minimal fixed income.
I've always attempted to bring artfulness into my lifestyle, but with the conditions of this stark experience, I was so often bereft of inspiration, with searing pain being a constant companion.
Despair was undermined by lending a hand to others. Those less fortunate in many respects. The shopping cart homeless.
I often had to dig deep into my dancer's discipline and Scottish ancestry to maintain hope and generate momentum to face another day.
On my path, I've encountered encouraging and interesting individuals with their own challenges. I've received kindness from strangers, all of whom made an enormous difference in keeping hope alive, faith in spirit and human goodness.
I've had an inordinate length of time while recovering from injuries to ponder on the anatomy of these experiences; and the process of reinventing myself.
To this end, I am at present recording some evidence of miracles in my autobiography.
I persevere in attempting to improve my health, and recover some aspects of my former creative skills, which that too, is part of the healing process.
I thank my angel sisters and brothers for assisting me in overcoming the daily struggles in what has been a long and difficult journey.